The Mindset Shifts That Changed Everything for Me

What I have learnt in my twenties

Recently, I found myself thinking about a question I get asked often: what really changed after my twenties? Well, a lot, I would say. I shared a bit about this on Instagram, but I wanted to go deeper here with you. It was something I started working through in my twenties, and by the time I turned 30, it all became clearer, more intentional, and more me.

Over the years, I’ve gained lessons that I believe would help anyone in this stage of life. I wish someone had told me about the values I now live by. Sometimes, all you need is a mindset shift to manifest the reality you desire.

I think for a long time, I was living in survival mode without even realising it.

Everything felt urgent. Everything felt like it needed to happen now. But one of the biggest changes I’ve experienced is choosing intention over urgency. Being present. Letting myself rest without guilt. Being able to slow down is so important because, if not, your body will eventually force you to.

Your body and mind should be treated with the utmost respect, patience, and understanding because they carry you and deserve rest. You deserve rest. I think in this day and age, rest has become something people see as a reward for hard work. That mindset is very dangerous because it leads to exhaustion and burnout. Resting and taking things at your own pace are not rewards; they are requirements if you want to continue showing up as your best self. That alone has changed the way I experience my life.

I’ve also had to completely redefine what productivity and success mean to me. I had to become very clear about what success meant for me and make sure it wasn’t defined by anyone else. There is a lot I want in life, and when I started defining that clearly, it gave me the confidence and direction I needed to pursue my dreams.

One thing I have definitely learned is that no one is going to create the life you want for you except you. You have to define what you want in your life and what is important to you. Another mindset shift for me was realising that I have to dedicate myself and work hard for what I want, in a way that makes sense for me.

Another thing that has been so freeing is giving myself permission to explore who I am beyond the boxes I once placed myself in. Yes, I am a doctor, but I am also a creator, a founder, a speaker, and a woman who loves enjoyment, expression, and curiosity. I love adventures, I love trying new things, and I appreciate the gifts of life outside of my profession.

I have learned that I do not have to shrink myself to be understood. I can be all of these things fully, and one part of me does not take away from another. Never allow yourself to be boxed into one thing because only you can redefine yourself, and you have the ability to do so as often as you want.

Letting go of external validation has also been freeing. One thing I can tell you is this: I no longer care what people think. They have no idea where I am going or what I am building. I am more anchored in who I am. I show up as myself, and I trust that the right people, the people who truly align with me, will find me. And they always do.

Remember that the only person whose validation truly matters is yours. You are already doing so well, and you should be proud of yourself.

As I have grown, I have also become a lot more protective of my energy. My time, my peace, and my priorities all matter deeply to me now. Be intentional with your energy and your time. Prioritise your wellbeing and your capacity above all else.

I no longer pour into things that drain me without purpose because that is a recipe for disaster. It only leads to an inevitable crash. That shift alone has made my life feel lighter and more aligned with my goals. One way you can do this is by creating a scale of importance to help you determine what deserves your energy and what doesn’t.

My relationships have changed too. One thing you should never take for granted is the people in your circle who consistently show up for you. I have become more intentional about showing up for the people I love, not perfectly, but fully. It is a conscious decision that simply makes sense. Now more than ever, we need each other to thrive.

I value presence over perfection or a polished version of community. It’s not about who you know, but who shows up for you time and time again. I invest in connections that pour back into me, that feel safe, reciprocal, and real. Over time, connections will fade and dynamics will change, so always pour into the people who pour into you because you cannot flourish in isolation.

There is also beauty in boundaries, learning to say both yes and no with confidence and without guilt. Choosing alignment over people’s expectations will save you every single time. We have been taught to accept things at the expense of ourselves, but that only builds resentment and self-neglect. Being your authentic self includes advocating for yourself, and setting healthy boundaries is a skill that can transform your life.

Another one of my favourite shifts has been learning to schedule joy. Not just responsibilities or work, but joy too. As the years go by and responsibilities increase, it becomes harder to find time for the things that make you happy. You have to seek joy out intentionally. Take the trip. Go to that hangout. Dance.

I no longer wait for joy to happen. I create space for it, and so should you.

At the heart of it all, I have redefined what success means to me. It is no longer just about achievement. It’s about peace, purpose, and the impact you make. And yes, it’s also about building multiple streams of income and creating a life that feels both meaningful and abundant.

No one has the ability to give you that more than yourself. So take the time to redefine what success means to you. It’s one of the most important things you can do.

And finally, if there is something I carry with me every day now, it is this: do not be afraid to be different. There is so much power in being fully and unapologetically yourself, completely and consistently. There is no one like you, so bask in that truth.

I will be sharing more reflections like this with you because these conversations matter, and I hope they resonate with you as much as they do with me.

I am always rooting for you.

With love,
Dr Joyce

I am hope you find these helpful. Lmk your thoughts in the comments.

Podcasts .

I am thinking of starting a podcast club because I absolutely love listening to them. Also lmk if you want to join the podcast club and if I should start one.

For today’s newsletter I think these two recommendations are absolutely fitting and a must listen for my ambitious, young women.

Both episodes drive my points further and will definitely serve as a source of motivation for you. Give them a listen; you’re welcome!

Did you miss this?

Incase, you missed this, earlier in the year I shared the 10 lessons I learnt at 30 that have been invaluable to me.

Again, THANK YOU for being here, let me know your thoughts in the comments, if you have any suggestions on topics, SHARE this with your friends & I will see you next week !

Signed, Dr J

(aka Joyce Omatseye)